You know, you really can overthink things. You can roll them over, look at them from every angle, thinking that you're missing something. That somehow you possess the ability to reason that which really is beyond our comprehension.
Why do I need to work some steps that were created by a couple of drunks? Such is the way the human mind works. If we don't see the value of something, we have a tendency to discount it. "That whole rehab scene doesn't work for me". Well, truth is, that the whole rehab scene is NOT there to work for you. You are there to follow some simple steps.
You can attempt to dissect them in hopes that you will find something that others may not have seen. We like the idea of discovering "Secrets" and "Keys to", not to mention "Hidden truth". As the big book of A.A. tells us...those with an addictive nature have a tendency to look for the easier softer way. I hate to disappoint you, but sometimes the main thing is the main thing.
In other words, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck.....
It's a duck!
One thing that we tend to forget is that in order to find and follow a new way of living requires us to separated from our old ways, have the slate wiped clean, and learn new ways.
I particularly like the what Paul wrote in II Corinthians 5:17- Therefore, if any person is ingrafted in Christ, he is a new creation (a new creature altogether) the old (previous moral and spiritual condition) has passed away, behold the fresh and new has come. As we have entered into this new covenant living arrangement with Jesus, we are like new born's fresh from the womb, in terms of how we view life and make our decisions. The old moral compass (which didn't work to well) has been discarded and replaced with God's Holy Spirit. To put it as simply as I can.....we are learning how to live life in a completely new way. Relying on God to guide us in our decision making. Relying on God when we don't know what to do next. We also must find a community of like minded people who are looking for the same thing we are. We understand our struggles and can be an encouragement for us to keep moving forward.
It's o.k. to have questions that come up in this new life. Just remember that the root word in "question" is "quest"...it's all about the journey, and learning how to apply what God is showing us to our everyday walking around, eating, sleeping, going to work life.
Such is why I need to be connected to a group of like minded folks. Jesus has called us to follow Him daily, not to expend ourselves looking for the short cut to everything. Such will surely keep us trapped in this old way of living. The self-inflicted pain will continue, the guilt and shame will only serve to keep us from moving forward, and those old voice will continue to accuse us of being no good. There's no room in this new life for this kind of abuse or thinking. So no matter what I'm facing today....no matter how hard life is....no matter how uncertain my future is....I will not go back to that old way of living.
You can bank on that, today! Just for today! One day at a time.
God on you...