Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Bone Tired And Full Of Hopelessness
I see it in the eyes. Looking into them, you see no life what so ever. No hope. No future. Nothing. Just a dullness that has bought into the lie. What lie? "I am what I am, I cannot change, there isn't any hope for me."
The lie of addiction.
It takes the Spirit of God to break through such a stronghold that has cemented a life in place with the thought of not being able to break free of addiction. I like what Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-30. I like the way the Message Bible writes this.
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me---watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Did you catch that? Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. In other words that is a pace and a flow to walking daily with Christ as my Higher Power. He becomes the current I jump into and follow Him all the day.
I know that we have the TWELVE STEPS and they seem logical and in order. But within the life that these steps have lead me to, there is uncertainty and unknown and all the other things that use to drive us back to our drugs / alcohol/ sex or whatever your D.O.C use to be. That is the beauty of jumping into the current of Jesus. He will take you around these places that intend to cause you to crash on the rocks and sink into oblivion. Jesus is the great navigator that I learn to trust with my life and my recovery on a daily basis.
Step #1 - I come face to face with the eternal truth: I am powerless. I cannot manage my life or my addiction. There is evidence of my inability to live life on life's terms by the destruction I have left in my wake.
Step #2 - Came to believe in a Power greater than myself that could restore me to sanity. In other words the powerlessness I admitted to in Step #1 is defined by the insane/ addiction thinking that has followed me around. Addiction logic tells you to spend your last few dollars on getting high rather than buy diapers for your baby. Spend it on drugs rather than buy groceries so you can eat. Addiction logic tells you to use everyone around to get what you want. It doesn't matter who you hurt or who you destroy because according to addiction logic, they didn't really love you anyway.
Step #3 - Make a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood Him.
I don't have to have all the answers. I don't have to have some of the answers. I just have to trust in God that He knows what is best for me, because by my actions, I have proven that I do not know what is best for myself.
I have a saying I use here at Rapha. I will go into a classroom to do a Bible study and there are all these guys there waiting. I usually begin with, "Gentlemen! Your very best thinking. The best thinking you are able to come up with. The top of your game....your A-game has got you sitting in folding chairs at white tables. Maybe it's time we find another way of doing business if this is the best we've got."
It truly is the great trade off.
I trade all my junk....
All my past behavior and the destruction I've caused....
I trade all my emotional baggage with you, O' Lord.
And in return,
I get everything you have.
Sounds like a great deal.
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Know that God loves you....and I love you.....
God on you.....
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