Liability

I know that relationship with God is not a balance sheet like in accounting, but I find myself sometimes with more on the liability side than on the asset side.
Maybe that is normal human behavior..........see the worst in yourself. After all the number one thing I hear from others when questioned about why they don't get saved is, "I'm not worthy."
Who decided this? They did. Why? Because they gauged their own self value against their past deeds and sins and they came up woefully short. I guess that is why scripture says, "There are none good, no not one."

For me, I am aware of how much time I waste.
Not that I need to have every minute of every day crammed with some form of religious activity.
But I do think I need to be a better steward of the time God gives me.
I find that my prayer life is not what "I THINK IT SHOULD BE." I guess I'll spend some time in prayer and ask God what He thinks. Ask Him to show me what the truth is about myself.
The very last thing I want to do is fall into a legalism trap where love for Him slides away and life becomes duty simply because duty is the name of the game. I think there is a healthy balance to life with Jesus. I just need to find it or be open to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

I don't know about you, but I grow weary sometimes of discovering new and stinky things about myself as far as my character and behavior goes. I know that God is giving me an opportunity to change and to allow Him to work in me, but you'd think (or at least in my flesh I feel this way) that you'd reach a place where you could take a breather or maybe even graduate to "Complete Human Being." I think that only happens when we die (Or Jesus comes back to get us). On the positive side, I guess I should rejoice that God is continuing to work on and in me. I'm kind of like I-20 in Atlanta.......always a work in progress. The fact that the work continues should be a source of encouragement not discouragement. Thank you, Lord that you haven't given up on me.

It's all part of the "growing up" process. I want to grow up before I grow older. Sometime growth comes through the pain we experience. One of my most favorite lines comes from a Pat Terry song....

And it's funny how pain can touch you...
And it only makes you better or it robs your heart and soul....
All and all it defines the separation.........
between growing up.......
and growing old............

Merry Christmas....
May you find Christ this year like you've never found him before.....
mb