X.....LI.....CXX.....Q....U....I...C....K

Roman Numerals....

Believe it or not, when I was in Elementary school, we had to learn how to

count by Roman Numerals.
A few months of this torturous activity and I quickly discovered why

the Roman empire fell.

It was too hard too count....

Scene: A Tent when Roman commanders gather to discuss strategy for the

upcoming campaign against the Visigoths.

General # 1 (Maximus Ventus) "What is the strength of the enemy...number wise?"

Peon # 1 : "Well....it's, let's see....uh....er....XXL, no that's not right."

"I'm sorry sir, what comes after LLXX MC?"

General: "Er....humph.....cough...Just guess, man, just guess!"

Peon #1 - There's a whole bunch of 'em.

I remember struggling to learn how to count.
I remember thinking to myself, "What good is this? I'll never use it."

Truth is, I haven't used Roman numerals much outside of figuring out when movies were made or what year a particular television show came one.
(read the credit's...watch for the Roman Numerals! Voila')

Maybe what didn't make sense at the time had a greater benefit than I could comprehend.

Isn't that like God?

He asks us to do something or leads us in a particular direction and we just don't get it.
We kick against the directives from Him and we whine and we gripe.
All the while He is trying to get us to see the bigger picture.

Genesis 6:14-- God commands Noah to make himself (interesting choice of words)

an ark of gopher wood.

Build a boat but it will be for you and your family.
God goes on to give the instructions on how and why to do this.

Noah's must of thought this is going to be a lot of work.

It wasn't like the ark came in pre-fabricated form.
Drop on down to the local Home Depot and pick yourself up an "ark" kit.

There were trees to be cut down.

Then shaped.
Cut into boards..

It was hard.

Do you think Noah, at any point, stopped and thought, this is crazy.
"When am I going to need such a boat?"
Years went by. Noah remained faithful.

Then came the day the animals showed up.
God told everyone to get inside the ark,

and the rain began to fall.
And it fell some more.

And it kept on falling.

30 days, 31 days....on and on.

38 days, 39 days....40 days.

Finally Noah understood why God had directed him to build the ark.

That is the way I want to be.
Not quibble about the "why" of God's directive,

and simply do.

Lesson Learned.

I want to get it the first time around.

If God has given Twelve Steps that create a path that provides me

the discipline I need to move from my life of destruction.....

Then I think I follow His instructions and build me an ark!

God on you....

mb

The Day The Music Died....And Then Was Resurrected

Music has been an important part of my life for more years than I care to think about.
Earliest memories I have is listening to Tennessee Ernie Ford sing "16 Tons" on the radio. Could a clarinet be any more spooky than the intro to this song. I remember the feeling I had the first time I heard Duane Eddy play those first notes of Rebel Rouser. Still get the same feeling even after all these years when I catch that song on the Oldie Station.

In the late 50's my brother got a High Fidelity Stereo Record player. O.k. It was on now. We had our own personal Juke box there in the Bynum household. Well, he had the juke box, but I got to listen to it. Everything went up a notch when my brother brought home a 45 rpm record of a group from Lubbock Texas. Young man named Buddy Holly was making his move in the music world. My brother put that 45 on the spindle, turned the knob as the 45 dropped to the platter and began to spin. The needle arm raised up like some kind of futuristic Robot.......swung over the record and slowly descended to the point where needle met vinyl. Suddenly the room was filled with the sound of an electric guitar.  A voice proclaimed from that Stereo...."Well, that'll be the day". I was hooked.

There would be other bands that came in and out of my life as time passed. Some made an everlasting impact on this ol boy. The Beatles....The very reason I wanted to learn how to play the guitar. Procol Harum....a British attempt at being a blues band. Not Delta blues....but British blues.

Things changed again for me in 1979.
Vicki and I had returned to our roots and had started attending church. During this time, I was made aware that my love for music had actually turned into a worship of music. It was the most important thing in my life. I had amassed a huge collection of albums, 45's, 8-track tapes as well as cassette tapes. Even had a room in my house that was totally devoted to stereo equipment and my collection of music. You see my heart had placed all of this "stuff" to a level of importance that was not healthy. It had become my god so to speak. One evening, while sitting in my music room, God spoke to me and asked me "which do you love the most? Your music? Or me? What was I going to say? I love you, Lord. But that wasn't the truth. He revealed my heart to me and I was totally ashamed of what I saw. I did love the music and everything associated with it more than I loved God. The next part was something I did not want to hear. "If you truly love me, then rid yourself of these things." Get rid of my albums....my 45's....my 8-tracks!"

I wrestled with this for days, until finally one Sunday night I could not stand it any longer. I back the car up to the door of the house, raised the trunk and began to fill it with all my "Stuff". I would love to say that the heaven's parted and I heard God say..."Well, done my faithful servant". I didn't. I was angry that God would ask me to do this. So a little over a thousand albums filled that car,  and I drove to the mall where I worked. Found a secluded trash dumpster and began to transfer the albums to the dumpster.

I remember going home thinking, "Now what am I going to listen to?" Gospel music? Oh no....4 white guys in matching leisure suits, slicked back hair and wing tips, belting out harmony!" But God knew best. It wasn't the type of music that offended him (as some wanted to teach us the evil's of rock and roll). It was the simple fact that music had replaced God as #1 in my life. My love now laid in a dumpster at the Gadsden Mall.

Weeks passed by and I felt like an addict who needed a fix. During this time, I met a young man, Bill Anderson, who also worked at the mall. We hit it off from the start, both having a love for music. Bill shared his story and his Jesus with me. But the best part was to come. He invited me over to his apartment one night to play me an album he thought I might like. Little did I know that this night was going to change me for the better. He placed the album on the turntable, place the needle onto the vinyl, and once more what came out of those speakers caught my heart and my attention. The album? How The West Was One". The musician? Phil Keaggy. Never had I heard such guitar playing before. But this time, the music...as well as the musician... all pointed to the God of the universe.

My first encounter with "Jesus Music"....
IT was new...it was fresh...it was something that stirred my soul, and the best part....it was God-given to my generation. There would be other albums to follow this one......
Larry Norman.....
2nd Chapter of Acts.....
Mark Heard......
Malcom and Alwyn....
Barry McGuire......
Honeytree....
Sweet Comfort Band...
Bethlehem.......
Dogwood......

What an incredible God. He had asked me to give up the very thing I loved the most, and yet returned to me something that fed my soul and my love for music. Guess what? That love continues to this day, but it resides in its proper place. God is first in my life for now and always.
Just wanted to share a bit of my story....hope I didn't bore you too much.

God on you....
mbb

Faith Comes By Hearing

He came out of nowhere.
He didn't look like them.
He was strange and yet there was something very familiar about him.
He didn't come and mingle in their midst trying to curry favor.
He didn't smooze with the leaders or look for opportunities to advance his own career.
He didn't perform any miracles.
Seas didn't part.
Ax heads didn't float.
No one was healed.
No one was raised from the dead.
Giants weren't slain, but the very foundation of an entire nation was shaken to the core by this man, and the words that he spoke.

John the baptizer.
He came armed with a message.
Repent.....change your minds, your hearts and your ways.
The Kingdom of heaven is at hand.
He stood on the outskirts of a major city and they came to him.
From all walks of life.
From every socio-economic level you could imagine.
They streamed forth to hear and to see for themselves.
What did they see?
A man.
Dressed in ways that reminded them of the prophet Elijah. In fact some believed that it was Elijah returned.

This man revealed the cracks and holes in a religious system that was strangling the very life from a nation. What once was good and Holy was now corrupt and pretentious.
This man did it with words.
He did it with language.
Spoken forcefully and not held back for fear of what others might think or do.
Words.
Oh these weren't just any words.
These were words spoken through this man by God Almighty Himself.
This man was merely a conduit for God to act through.
But it was the Words....
Never had such truth ever been spoken before about the coming Messiah.
The crow heard.....
But did they understand that the very one they'd been searching for was now among them?

When the religious rulers approached to hear this man for themselves, they were met with "You brood of vipers, who warned you to flee from the wrath to come?" Not the way to influence people and win friends. Now they were without reason to see the truth. It had been spoken to them.

Words.....
We want flash and glitz today.
We want current and hip.
What we need are words.
Stripped down, unadorned, truth from the Word of God.
We need to "hear" God for ourselves.
We need to return to His written word.
We need the foundation of Jesus to be laid...the solid rock.
Then we need to take the words and build our house as we apply them to our lives.
Hear...
Build....
Do.....
Act....
Change.

We need to be awakened.
How does this happen?
Listen.....
You'll hear the Word of God saying, "Wake up!"
We want miracles but we will not invest the effort to see the greatest miracle of all.
A life changed.
A life changed by Words.

"Come to Me all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest."

God on you........

mb

A Manger......A Cross.....And A Tomb

Matthew 2:1-2
Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the East came to Jerusalem saying, "Where is He who has been born King of the Jews? For we have seen His star in the East and have come to worship Him."

Springsteen sings "Born To Run"....
The Bible declares Jesus as "Born to Die".
Isn't it funny how we separate the babe from the man.
We embrace the baby Jesus as one who was innocent and in need of being taken care of.
When you think of Him this way, you can see why God was so particular about who He wanted to raise His Son.
In my mind, Mary was the ultimate Mother.
She may not have understood all that was going on as Jesus grew to manhood, but she knew that God had picked her for this incredible task.
On this side of the cross, we can rationalize and pontificate the death of Christ. Yet the truth is, it was a mother's heart that had to be present in the death of her son. It didn't matter at the moment that Jesus would rise from the dead. First he had to die, and he had to die in front of the woman who had carried him for nine months and had given birth to him.

All those names we bandy about so easily today....
Messiah...
The Christ....
Redeemer.....
Was He all of those to Mary?
Sure He was....
But He was also her son.

Do you think that His followers grasped the whole "Dying for the sins of the world" thing? I think they heard Him speak on this several times, but I don't think they fully understood the twist and turns this journey to the cross would take. But yet Jesus walked it out all the way. From the cradle to the cross...
From the stable to the tomb, Jesus never wavered in His commitment to do the Father's will.

Shouldn't that be my commitment also?
To "Do the will" of my heavenly Father?
I think maybe the answer is yes.
To come to the complete understanding of the price that was paid for me to experience real freedom, real life with God, and have the hope of glory that in the end, when I die I will be present with Him.

That my highest calling in this life is to worship God with everything I have, and everything I am.
I owe Him everything.
He laid hold of me and brought me out of sin darkness into the light of real life.
No longer do I need the things of this world to entice me or trap me.
I choose to give will and life over to His care as I understand Him to be today.
And I pursue this God to know Him better.
Not a knowing that is found in collecting information...
But the knowing that comes from an ongoing relationship with Him.

I have celebrated a few Easter's....
And each year, I determine to see it differently.
As we approach Easter this year, I am trying to read and understand what it was like to have been a follower of Christ during His lifetime.  To have heard Him speak fully about the cross, His death and resurrection, yet not understand fully the events that were going to take place. 

I think I have touched the place where the human heart lacks the ability (unless given by God) to comprehend the ways and plans of God. Looking at my own life, there have been times where God has called me into a new direction for my life, and even though I have the written promises of God that tell me He has my life in His hands, I am stilled filled with fear and doubt. I know that He would not call me to a place and not see me through. I know that He would not call me only to drop me like a sack of tater's, as if this were some sort of cosmic joke. I know that this isn't God's plan for any of us.

So just as Jesus had a cross in His life...
So do I....
I take it up daily as a reminder that I have given my life to Him.
Physically, I will never have to hang on a cross.
But because He did, I need to remember the price that was paid for me.
That my sin account had been emptied out and stamped "paid in full".
He did that for me...
He did that for you....
Praise God we don't leave Christ on that cross.
For just as there was a manger that lead to a cross....
That is a tomb that put an exclamation point on Jesus' time here on earth.
He defeated death...
He took the keys to death, hell and the grave from the person and kingdom of Satan. And He stepped out of that dark, dank, tomb into the light and glory of His Father.
I am reminded of the words to "What Child Is This?"

This, this is Christ the King,

whom shepherds guard and angels sing;
haste, haste to bring him laud,
the babe, the son of Mary!

Nails, spear, shall pierce him through;
the cross be borne for me, for you.
Hail, hail, the Word made flesh,
the babe, the son of Mary!

God on you.
mb

It Is God's Meeting....Don't Forget That

Saturday night was a special time at VRC.
It was God's night, and He gave me a gentle reminder that it is still His meeting. A reminder that my plans don't necessarily line up with His from time to time.
I had a message (and a good one I thought) to share. Been working on it and putting the finishing touches to it. A message about going back to the basics of following Jesus. A teaching on what it means to "BELIEVE" in God.

The time was around 5:30 Saturday afternoon.
I was sitting in the room where we hold our meeting, going over my Scripture.
Here is the hard part to explain. As I was reading, the thought and feeling that God did not want me to give this message came over me. I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but twenty years of teaching has caused me not to question or argue when this feeling comes. So I laid my notes and my Bible down and began to pray, asking God, "O.k....if you don't want this message, what do you want me to do?" The reply came to my mind. "WAIT!!".

So 7:00 p.m. came and we kicked off the meeting.
Todd Bagley led worship, and it was good....
One of the songs Todd chose was "GENTLE SHEPHERD."
Chorus is a repetition of the words..."Lead on!"
That was exactly what was going on.
God was leading us. Calling us to place where we did not know what was going to happen, and in the midst of my "What now" moments, God was saying, "Trust me."

Worship finished and it was time to hear from Him.
One of the things that we've started at VRC is what I call "Honest and Transparent" sharing.
Each week, I've asked one of our core leaders to stand and share about the past week...did they have a good week...a hard week. Was there times of struggle, maybe even some doubt or fear. The reason for this type of sharing is that I want those who come on Saturday night to realize that struggle is a part of life. In fact, struggling is going to happen whether you're sober or not. I fear that sometimes the message that recovery meetings give is "Come to Jesus, and all your problems will go away." Not so. I would say, "Come to Jesus and He will empower you to face whatever comes your way."

On this particular night, I'd asked my wife, Vicki, to share.
These "honest and transparent" sharing moments are usually around 5 minutes.
Vicki started her story...
She began by going back a few years. How she'd always been proud of her ability to handle situations. How she could learn and do anything associated with her job. But then she found herself in a place where she was having feelings of being inadequate. Her sister Peggy became sick and Vicki was thrust into the role of taking over Peggy's duties at the office they worked in together.  She was reminded over and over through comments that were made to her that she wasn't Peggy. Vicki was doing the best she could, but the best didn't seem good enough. Her mom's health began to deteriorate as dementia began to take over. The feelings of inadequacy began to wash over my wife in an overwhelming way. She was not only completely overwhelmed by her day, but the toll it was taking on her physically and emotionally, not to mention spiritually was beginning to mount up. Due to the things she was having to take care of, she was being isolated from others, which only fueled her sense of inadequacy.

In fact, at last weeks meeting during ministry time, Vicki said, "I need prayer because I'm feeling inadequate at every turn. I don't know who I am any more."
She shared that all last week she would wake up with a scripture fresh in her mind. God was giving to her hope and assurance that His grace would empower her to do whatever the day brought her way.

As she spoke, I knew that we all were hearing the message God wanted to share with us. I laid my Bible down and sat there amazed at His goodness to take my wife to be the vessel He would speak through. She spoke with great passion about her struggle, that God had not deserted her but simply revealed a need that only He could fill. My wife brought the message.

She spoke of God's greatness and the true meaning of the word grace.
Grace-- The empowering presence of God in my life, that enables me to be who God created me to be......and to do what God has called me to do.....Grace!!

I'm grateful for those moments when God takes over the meeting. I grateful for Him teaching me that I don't always have to be the one up front leading the way. Sometimes I need to sit and be fed with His word. I need to hear another voice being used by God to receive what is on His heart.

To say that Saturday night was a good night would not go far enough.
Saturday night was a "GOD" night.
Nothing else left to say.

God on you....
mbb

Jesus Is A Pretty Good Crutch If You're Cripple

To me, the picture above is a great illustration of what it's like living under the bondage of addiction. It's like trying to walk a tightrope with your feet tied together. The two just don't go together. Neither does real life and the infusion of a substance into our bodies and brains. The two cannot co-exist together. 

Such a thought as the inability of life and addiction not being able to co-exist is found in the simple words of Step #1- I am powerless (translated: I keep falling off the tightrope) and my life has become unmanageable (translated: I know that all I have to do is reach down and untie the rope, but I'm afraid that I will fall off).

Been cruising through the Message Bible over the past few days, and found myself at Matthew 9:12-13:  This is Jesus speaking---"Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? Go figure out what the Scripture means: ' I'm after mercy, not religion.' I'm here to invite the outsiders, not coddle the insiders."

Addiction, by the sheer nature of it's destruction, puts us on the outside of God's will and Jesus' desire to heal us. Funny thing about sickness...you can't really get help until you admit that you are sick and need help. Same with addiction. You can be free until you admit that there isn't any way out that you can see. When we can't find a way out through our own efforts to quit or even change, then we begin to look outside our own efforts for an answer to our problem. That is the beginning of healing. Father Martin, long time recovering alcoholic and Catholic Priest use to put it this way. Addiction is like getting up every morning and climbing into a boxing ring to fight. Only problem is, we get our brains beat out. So we go home that night and try to figure out how we can climb back in that ring and achieve a different result. Trouble is, we can't. We continue to climb into the ring day after day, and, day after day, we get our brains beat out. Suddenly one day, it dawns on us...."Why don't I just not get in the ring?" Such is the mindset of one who is addicted. They will spend vast amounts of energy and thought on how they can find a better way to deal with their problem, only to discover that their using has slowed down one bit. In fact, they have deceived themselves into believing that they are actually getting better because they have devoted time and thought to change. Trouble is, they devoted "O" effort into actually doing anything about it. They just feel better because they thought about changing. Change is more than thought or time......it is action.

I know you've read it here before, but I don't know any other way of saying it.
People don't have an alcohol or drug problem. Alcohol and drugs aren't the problem. They are merely symptoms of a deeper problem inside. The real problem is that we have a living problem. We have a broken relationship with Christ as evidenced by the sin/ destruction we have created through our own bad choices. The only answer is found in a person. A person that some refer to as the "Great Physician". I guess that's a pretty good deal if you know that you are sick and in need of being healed.

Consider the possibility that Jesus truly is who He claims He is.
Consider the possibility that Jesus will do what He has promised He would.
You know that you don't have to climb into that ring today, don't you?

God on you....
mb

Time

Psalm 40:1-3
I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to out God. Many will see what He has done an be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.

Time....
Your biggest ally in the journey of recovery.
The devil would have you think otherwise...
"Hurry! Hurry! Make a decisions now....time is passing you by!!"
Such thoughts create anxiousness.
Anxiousness always stirs us to the point that we base our decisions on our feelings rather than the facts.
Anxiousness always takes me down a dark path.

Growing up, I heard that we were living in the "Jet age"....meaning that life was going faster and faster as man discovered new technology that would make things simpler for everyone.
So if the 50's / 60's were the jet age....what does that say about the time we currently live in? The rocket age? I think maybe we should call it the "out of control" age. Throw an addiction into the mix and you truly do have "life out of control." 

I love the opening verse of Psalm 40.
"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me."
I didn't make any rash decisions that would only take me deeper into the darkness...or better yet...back to the darkness. I waited. Reckon what King David did while he waited? Watched TV? Played some video games? Complained to everyone about his current life? I think maybe he prayed...prayed a lot...and then prayed some more. His prayers did come from a heart of fear...they came from a heart that trusted God, that He was who He claimed to be, and would do what He'd promised He would do. Trusting God.

Funny part in this whole recovery thing is that God does the work. My part is to simply follow. To be obedient. Notice what God did when David looked to Him for help.
David prayed and waited:

#1- God turned to him

#2- God heard David's cry

#3- He lifted David's emotions and heart from the darkness of depression and hopelessness.

#4- He gave David the ability to be stable and steady, not falling prey to the feelings and emotions that cause us to cut and run.

#5- He kept David in that place of stability as David moved through his day.

#6- He gave David a new song.....one of encouragement...a worship song of thanks. This created an attitude of gratitude down in David's heart, giving him a new outlook on life. David's circumstances had not changed. David's situation remained the same. But God empowered David to face it and move forward.

So today, may you rest in a place where you can wait for the Lord.
Time is your biggest ally.

God on you..
mbb

Got a call on Tuesday night from Sam Colegrove. Not the kind of call you want to get. A friend of ours had died.

Blake Emfinger....
He was Sam's roommate at Rapha.
They kind of clicked as they both fought their demons. 

Blake was a funny guy...gentle soul...I saw him a few months ago over at the Center of Hope Thrift store in Glencoe. Vicki and I had stopped to check out their book section when we heard a voice say, "Brother Mike! How are you doing?" I turned around and it was Blake. He was working there and was finishing up the program at the Center of Hope. He was optimistic about his future. He looked great....had put on weight, and was smiling as much as Blake could.  Which means it was kind of a wry grin. He seemed at peace as he told me of his future plans.
I asked him if I could pray for him...he said yes, he'd love that. So there among the electronics and the books, we prayed. I hugged him...he told me that he'd like to come some Saturday to VRC. "Love to see you there!!" That never happened as sometimes life has a way of changing our plans.

I pray that God's Holy Spirit would bring peace, comfort and closure to Blake's family as they move through these coming days. I pray that Blake would be at rest and peace now. 
I know that I will miss him.
In this midst of this dark time, I can truly say that God is good.

mbb