What do you do when you try and try and try to get it right........and it still turns out wrong?
What do you do when you are doing your best to take care of all the mess that was caused by your addiction, but those around you aren't patient any longer? They leave you.
What do you do when it seems as though the faster you go, the behinder you get?
Hard questions with no easy answers.
Welcome to the life of someone who has entered a rehab and is starting this journey in recovery. Pain is a part of recovery. Not just the physcial feeling, but the emotional pain that suddenly appears after years of using.
For the first time in a long time, the individual who comes into a program is free from the influence and effects of their drug of choice. Being in such a state makes them extremely vulnerable to emotional pain that has been suppressed. No longer under the influence, all the emotions we have run from, come spilling out in waves. In some ways, the emotional pain is much more difficult than the physical pain of detox.
Our emotions are raw and out there in the open for all to see. We have spent so much time hiding them under the influence of our D.O.C., that we don't know how to live.
Couple all of this with the destruction we have cause those we love and it is a hard path to walk.
The one thing I have discovered about recovery, is that there are no easy answers. There are no pat answers to these problems that we have to face. The is little comfort in cliches' that seem to be all around us, but one thing I do know. This Jesus, that we claim as our Higher Power, stands ready to take you through whatever you are facing.
Psalm 91:15 reads: He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble. I will deliver him and honor him.
No matter what your eyes may tell you....
No matter what the voices that are raging in your head are saying about going back to your old life......
God says that if I call upon him....right in the middle of my trouble, no matter what it may be.......
He will answer me.
More than that, He will be with me in the trouble.
Did you catch that?
He will be with me IN the trouble. Not near it. Not watching from a distance. He is there with me. I can't see it when I going through all the emotional pain, dealing with things that are beyond my control, but He is giving me an opportunity to trust Him. Trust God!
It is in these times when the pain is unbearable because of rejection from family and friends, that we have an opportunity to trust God. We have an opportunity to lern that He is who He claims to be, and will do what He has claimed He would do. It doesn't mean that He is going to come and wave some Duzzle Dust over everything and magically make it better. What it does mean is that we can trust in God's love and ability to guide us through this time in our lives. We don't know what the outcome may be, but we will trust God.
Please pray for those going through these and similar situations as they are striving for this new life........this new way of living.
We are in this for the long haul. We need each other's support and prayers.
God on you.......
mb
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