We admitted we were powerless over alcohol ( and other mood altering substances) and that our lives had become unmanageable.
Hard place to begin, this Step # 1.
But something has clicked by the time you arrive here.
Something has shot up a flare, or hoisted the white flag in you life, because you have the urge, the desire to quit drinking and using.
It could be a gnawing fear of what might happen if you don't stop.
It could be the tiredness and emptiness of trying to hide the using.
It could be a combination of all of the above.
But whatever the reason, it's a good place to start.
Being a pastor, I can't help but believe that maybe God had something to do with your decision.
You see, recovery is more than just being alcohol/drug free.
Recovery is more than not drinking or using.
Recovery is just what the name implies.
The taking back and the restoration of the things that you have lost or traded away. Things such as relationships...trust....self-worth...and on and on.
You see, this Jesus, that I have fallen in love with, is the ultimate restoration specialist. But everything in this madness we refer to as addiction begins with the ultimate truth. We have a problem.
We want to stop using.
We have the best intentions of quitting.
We just can't seem to stop.
Well, guess what? It isn't a matter of will power.
IT is a matter of the heart.
IT is a matter of the blood.
IT is a matter of the mind.
The heart, because somewhere along the way, we made a conscious decision to start. It may have been purely social. We drink because we are surrounded by others who also drink. We didn't want to stand out our be perceived as being prudish or anti-social. Guess what? The bottom line is you have an need to have the approval of others. If you don't, then you feel bad about yourself.
We call that False Belief #2.
So we made a choice.
Did this make us a person who abuses alcohol? No, but it certainly opened the door to start the journey.
It all began with a choice. Now that you have followed that choice, it seems that the ability to choose has been taken away. Welcome to the wonderful world of addiction and dependency.
But there is hope.
Hope found in a person.
That person would be Jesus.
I love the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15.
Here we have a young man who has decided he can live his life on his own.
He shakes down his dad for his part of the inheritance his dad has set aside for him.
Packs his suitcase and it is "good bye farm, hello big city."
Like drinking/ using, it is all glamour at first. The feeling you get from just holding that glass, the taste, the warmness it brings to your body and mind. It is your best friend.
But repeated over and over again, that friend turns into your master, and you, a slave.
The prodigal son was living high on the hog.
Money, women, drink, partying.
But then the bottom came up and smacked him right square in the face.
Funny part is, that this bottom-smacking was sudden. It didn't just suddenly appear out of nowhere. It slowly and deliberately add away at the young man until he had lost everything.
My favorite part of this entire saga is the verse that says, "And no one gave him anything, he came to his senses."
That is the bottom.
You have lost everything, or you realize that you are going to loose everything if you don't stop.
Coming to your senses is the heart of Step# 1..
I look beyond what I want to do.
I look beyond what ever lie I may be telling myself, that I can stop whenever I want to.
And I take a long, hard, cold look at the simple fact that I am powerless to change.
What is the evidence?
My life has become unmanageable.
When you can look at Step #1 and honestly say, "That is me! That is the truth!"
The journey has begun.
God on you this day!
mb
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