Tuesday Night Thoughts

8:02 p.m.
Just finished preparing for the 9 p.m. Bible study.
Each teaching is an exercise in "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God. What do you want to say tonight?"
I have been holding this twice a week study since early 2004 and have seen God do some incredible things as we have met.

Tonight is teaching on following hard after God.
Reading in Exodus where the cloud of God's presence would settle over the Tabernacle and remain there until it was time to move.
I wondered what it was like being camped around the presence of God. No matter where you went in the camp you could not escape the presence of God. It stretched to the heavens. Cloud and shade by day, fire and warmth by night. Lighting up the inside of the tents with a red glow. How many drifted off to sleep with a view of God's presence etched in their minds? How long would it take for the presence of God to become common place? In the beginning of the trip out of Egypt walking in fear of God. Not wanting to lag behind or get ahead of the cloud, but trying to pace yourself and walk with the cloud.

How many became insensitive to this cloud and pillar of fire?
Giving no thought to who was in their midst.
"I'll let that crazy fellow, Moses, fool with the cloud. Hey! You remember when we were in Egypt......all the great food we had there. Don't get me started about this so called Promise Land...we aren't ever gonna see it. Moses brought us out here to die."
All the while the presence of God heard and saw what was going on in the camp.

The cloud was the leader, not Moses. The cloud moved, Israel packed up and followed. Probably not willingly either. "I just had the tent fixed like I really wanted it to be and now that cloud is moving and we got to pack up! Will it never end?"

The following of these thoughts of following Jesus and not my own understanding lead me to Luke Chapter 5 where Peter and others came into contact with Jesus. The guys have been on an all-nighter fishing trip. Caught nothing and here Jesus uses their boat for a floating pulpit to teach from. Upon finishing, Jesus tells them, "Put out to the deep water and let down your nets." The guys do so and catch the mother lode of fish. Verse 10 Jesus tells them, "You will catch men...you will be fishers of men."
Verse 11 is the kicker -- SO they pulled their boats up on shore, let everything to follow him.
We don't really believe they left everything, do we?
If that is the truth, then how do I excuse my lifestyle?
Am I called to leave everything?
Am I called to follow in like manner? Or do I spiritualize these verses by saying, "He only wants me to surrender everything by simply saying it. Being willing to do it, but he really isn't going to expect me to surrender everything. Does he?

I think He does.
Is this where I sell everything and leave my home? Only if you have a clear directive from Him to do so. But it is necessary to leave old friends and places to follow him.
I have given up much to follow him.
I won't say that I have given willingly either, sometimes I turn loose because I know I have no other choice.
But what I have been given in return is beyond my comprehension.
A deeper love for God.
A more clear vision of where I am going.
A deeper love for my family and brothers and sisters in Christ.
A shoulder to lean on and walk with as He guides me.
I make no excuses or want to give the impression that it has been tootsie pops and cinnamon rolls, it has been a hard road, but never, never, never, has God forsaken me or left me to fend for myself.
That is why I am leaving all to follow Him.

Praise God!
mb