8 - 21 - 1999

August 21, 1999-- Our first "recovery" meeting at Gadsden Vineyard Church.

I had no clue as to what we were doing.
I was clueless as to how the meeting would turn out.
I didn't even know if anyone would show up.

I had some knowledge of recovery at that time but compared to what I know now....I was woefully lacking.

Sixty-six showed up that night.

I remember that the worship was intense in that the presence of God was thick in that room that night.

I remember the first message I gave for that night was from Psalm Chapter 1.

Don't seek council and advice from your old friends.

Don't stand around with them and let them keep you from doing what you know is right.

Don't sit down with them. It's harder to get up and move on when you have stopped.

I remember ministry time because there were people from Vineyard climbing over chairs to get to men who wanted to be prayed for.It was almost a surreal moment as I stood at the front directing people to others who had come forward to be prayed over.

I guess the one thing I remember the most is after everything was over that night.

The building was empty and I was cleaning up and turning off the lights.

I was full spiritually. I was completely satisfied beyond belief. I remember thinking to myself and then praying, "Oh God...you are so good. Thank you for letting me be a part of this meeting." As soon as I had prayed that, a thought came over me that quickly brought me back to earth......"I've got to do this all over again next week." As good as that first night was, we would gather again and see what God would want to do. What if the music isn't as good? What if my message falls on deaf ears? What if I've missed it and God only wanted us to do one meeting? Thoughts that ran through my brain like rifle shots. Truth is we do go back the next week.......and the week after that.........and the week after that. Each time, we learned something about recovery and ourselves.

Now here we are 10 going on 11 years later and I still have those same questions as we approach our Saturday night meeting. "What if you don't come tomorrow night? What if I have missed it somehow? " But I know that those are just thoughts that I struggle with.

Ever since December 26th of last year, God has been manifesting / showing up through power encounters at the Saturday night meeting. The meetings have grown in intensity and I am truly encouraged by what I see happening to the guys who attend. At the same time, I am being changed. I am being drawn back to my roots from Gadsden Vineyard.

I have begun to revisit some teaching and writings of John Wimber who was the main force behind giving the Vineyard movement "game". John never saw himself as being the head of a church movement, but God had other plans. It was through John Wimber's teaching that I have become who I am. Along the way, over the past few years, I lost track of that. I found myself focusing and believing in things that run contrary to my Vineyard teaching.

God in his infinite mercy and grace has restored me and reminded me of who I am and what my call is. For that I am grateful.

Thank you for letting me share a little bit of my history and my struggle.

God on you today....

mb

Matthew 28:18-19

Jesus came and told his disciples, " I have been given complete authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit."