Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Sam's Story
As far back as I can remember I was not a content child. My parents were divorced by the time I was 4 . I barely had a relationship with my dad at all which created a whole paradigm of confusion towards father figures, especially my Heavenly Father. Through my childhood and adolescence I medicated myself with food needing desperately to fill my soul hunger not realizing what I really needed. Mom tried her best to get me in the local Baptist church and get me involved in a youth program. It’s hard to take Christianity seriously when you see your world falling apart and your mother fighting severe depression. A lot of it is a blur, masked in my mind by a haze of confusion. All up until I smoked my first joint. Sounds very elementary and I agree it was. However, I began to delve much deeper into drugs especially pain killers. I used atheism as a stance to stand for something bigger than myself a reason to indulge in drugs/alcohol, sexual deviancy, and lawlessness.
To me at this time morality was subjective and anyone that tried to tell me there was a moral code I was to follow had another thing coming. I did my best to smear the idea of God, especially the name of Jesus. He was especially offensive to me because so many people loved Him and I thought it was insane. Here, they’ve never met this man yet they pledge allegiance, insanity. I held this world view up until My drug use got so bad my family threatened to disown me; I was sleeping on a stranger’s floor trying to scrounge crumbs of pills to not be in pain and be miserable anymore. I had a drug dealer after me I owed money. I wanted out! My family offered me a way out, you have to go to rehab. This would be my second shot after attempting to go to a secular rehab program. This time they insisted a Christian rehab. Immediately I was on the offensive refusing to go but I wanted a place to sleep and food to eat. I needed rest. So I went.
The first thing I saw when we pulled up to my new home for 6 months, was a huge glowing white cross. I vowed that day that no one would ever shove this Jesus down my throat! Isn't life ironic? I was met by a long haired older man that told me Jesus loved me and had called me here for a reason. Very interesting I thought just another religious crazy, brainwashed probably. As I went through this place I started to see events happen that where inexcusable as happenstance. They were the happenings of some force driving life. I was approached by the pastor I was met with by a question "do you want to meet God?" How crazy I thought but I said, "Sure." He placed his hand on my hand and said one phrase "Holy Spirit come" I felt a surge of sorrow go to my bones and I wept bitterly. That was my first run in with Him.
As time passed I went into withdrawals and I was invited to go to a chapel service feeling more than down I decided to go. When I walked into the room I felt a tangible presence like walking into really humid weather almost creating a due on the skin. I was overwhelmed with grief and conviction for my sin. I knew that if I had died the time I overdosed I would be in bad shape. I felt a weight on my back, my sin. I stood up screaming asking, begging God to forgive me. I repented. I was immediately into the Bible and prayer it was like my food and drink. Nightly I prayed myself to sleep. It was beautiful. I still had a little emptiness though that I couldn’t explain.
A few weeks later I went into the pastor’s office to have one of our daily chats we had started and there was a young man named Doug in the office. Doug was an alcoholic. I stepped in and excused myself seeing I had interrupted a deep talk. However, the pastor invited me and said to me "Sam, I want you to put your hand on Doug’s head and pray for him." Feeling a little perplexed I decided to go for it. As I placed my hand on Doug’s head and started praying I wasn’t sure what to say so I began to glorify God. While praying, eyes closed, I suddenly felt weightless, raptured, like I was leaving my body I felt as if I was crossing into a higher dimension. I saw flashes of green and blue flame. I felt It enter me. I sat down mind blown hysterically laughing. Laughing so hard I thought my ribs were going to break I was trying to speak in English but all I could get out was a foreign tongue I didn’t recognize. I was baptized in the Holy Spirit and I knew it.
Since that time it has been a fire in my bones to proclaim the God that is alive, despite what this world would have you believe. My wife and I are now youth pastors and both share similar experiences. We see the attack from the enemy on the church and the youth of this world. God has placed it on me to let you know that He is a God that is in pursuit. Not of your dogma but of your heart. Not of your repetitive religion but a relationship. Taste and see that the Lord is good.
Sam posted his story on facebook. To me, this is "payday". It isn't about me, it isn't really about Sam...it is about a God whose desire to save and heal is beyond our comprehension.
Please pray for Sam and Natalie as they begin this next chapter in their lives.
I'm telling you if this doesn't set you on fire........then your wood's wet!
God on you....
mb
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1 comment:
Great story! God is good!
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