Galatians 2:20
My old self (sin nature) has been crucified with Christ. It is not longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Confession: "I am powerless. My life has become unmanageable. I have lived my life independent from You, Lord. Living this way defines me as a sinner. My heart, my mind, and my will have all been under the direction and influence of Satan and his demonic kingdom."
Realization: I have heard of your name. I have read of the deeds You have done. I have gone to meeting after meeting only to be confronted with Your presence. I didn't realize it was You. I thought it was something inside me that stirred my heart and my emotions. I did not realize that You were actually communicating with me. I have heard others say this...I have even quoted it myself....Step # 2- Come to believe in a POWER greater than myself who could restore me to sanity. But is what I am feeling...experiencing at this moment ...the POWER that this step speaks of. It is almost like a battle is raging inside of me. One part of my mind says, "Surrender"...the other side says, "No! Don't". Back and forth..back and forth. What do I do?
Decision: I am so tired. This life of so-called freedom to do what I please is killing me.
Sounded good the first time I used. I remember the feeling of euphoria that flooded my very soul. Then came the thought, "How could something this good be bad for me." Maybe that was you, Lord, trying to draw me back before I went down the rabbit hole. The good feeling disappeared long ago, and in it's place was an itch I could never quiet scratch. An itch that destroyed me bit and bit. An itch that took away everything that was important to me. This itch robbed me of my family.....my friends.....my job....my finances...my health....and lastly, this itch took away every dream I ever had about my future. What did it give me in return? Nothing. This feeling that is seeping into my very being...this feeling of surrender is what is known as conviction. It feels different from condemnation. Lord knows I lived in that "Nation" long enough. Condemnation only points a finger and reminds you over and over, 24/7 all the things you have done. This in turn, causes you to define your self, or your self-worth, based on what you've done. We tell ourselves that we are terrible people because of what we've done.
Conviction tells us that we have tried to live our life outside the will and wishes of God. As such, conviction is a map that leads us back home. Leads us out of the darkness back into the marvelous light of God's presence. Conviction is the fuel that points us to Jesus and His offer of life abundant here, right now. So we ask for forgiveness to Him. We ask that He take away the evidence of our sinful heart. We ask that He become our Lord and Savior. We turn will and life over to His care. We open our heart...our mind...our spirit to receive the Holy Spirit, who will become a guide that will help us navigate in this new life we have now received.
The Holy Spirit begins to change me from the inside. I realize the truth of that statement as I find myself thinking differently. My choices have become more in line with what I am reading in my Bible. The funny part in all of this, is that I haven't become religious, I simply have found a better way to deal with whatever life sends my way daily.
Thank You, Father God, for sending Your Son to pave the way for me to have this new life.
Thank You, Jesus, for taking my place as payment for my sin. For loving me enough to not hold it against me, but to offer to me new life.
Thank You, Holy Spirit, that you live in me today. I no longer have to live that old life. I have been shown, and continue to be, a better way.
Now, I can go out today and face whatever is waiting out there, without fear of running back to my old life.
What a present.
God on you....
michael b.
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