Hesitation

Mark 1:18
And they left their nets at once and followed Him.

Mark 1:20
He called to them at once, and they also followed him, leaving their father, Zebedee, in the boat with the hired men.

No hesitation here....
Kind of a mystery if you try and see this with a logical mind.
Maybe I'm reading into these verses more than was intended, but still it speaks to something deep inside.

These men, who would become disciples of Jesus, left everything to follow him. When I say they left everything, I mean everything.
They didn't decide to go this, and then get their affairs in order.
They didn't tell Jesus to come back next Tuesday because they had to make sure everything in their life had been taken care of.
They dropped everything (including family) to go with Jesus.

On the other hand, we don't really know what they were thinking.
Maybe they thought they'd only be gone for the day...
A week.....
Or a month.
But that isn't the point, is it?
The point is that whatever troubles or circumstances they were in, paled in comparison to the mystery of the adventure that Jesus had called them to.
They could not have envisioned that in three years, give or take some months, they would be enemies of the religious ruling government of their country.
They could not have even known of the miracles they would see.
The lame and cripple would walk.
Blind eyes would be given back their sight...
Demonized sons and daughters would be restored to their right mind.
And......wait for it.......
The dead would be brought back to life.
They didn't know this would be a part of their life.

But what they did know is that something deep inside was stirred by this call to follow. A call that burned with such heat that it made everything else pale in comparison. Businesses were laid down, and families left taking care of all the details of life. These men were off to follow Jesus.

Maybe this whole passage of scripture still applies to us today.
Maybe it is the whole idea of how hesitation destroys opportunity when God calls to us.
Maybe there are windows that God opens when he is calling us into a new season or time in our lives. Those windows begin to slide shut when we hesitate. The timing gets shorter and shorter, and if we don't act on it, we loose.

Don't get me wrong...
I understand this whole "hesitation" thing, and I have fallen prey to it time and time again myself. But the one thing I've tried to learn from is that when I believe God is calling me to do something, I need to do it. 
One last thing....
Hesitation is not the immediate "doing" of the act....
Hesitation is the delaying of making a choice to obey.
God determines the timing and place where our "yes" to him becomes action.
All I have to do is to be wiling to do whatever it is he desires of me.

What would cause me to hesitate?
Doubt?
Wondering if what I heard was truly from God.
We all play the "Is it me,or is it you, God?" game. Don't we?
Maybe it's fear that causes me to hesitate.
I measure my own abilities against what God is calling me to do, and I don't see any way I could ever accomplish anything.
Or I look at the future with eyes that are defined by my past failure.
What does my past say? It screams at me to let me know that I've failed at everything, and that just because this may or may not be God speaking, I'll fail at this also.

Remember the part of the Serenity prayer where we are asking God to give us courage to change the things I can? Maybe this is one of those things. Not letting me allow myself to be defined by my past. I need to always remember that if God is calling me, then he will equip and empower me to carry it out.

Think on these things...
And don't hesitate.
God on you....
mbb