End of the day

It's 8:25 p.m. and I have just finished preparing for the 9 p.m. Bible study.
Sometimes preparation is as simple as rolling off a log (Like last Tuesday night)
Other times it like trying to strain water from a rock. There just isn't anything there.
So I wait.
I have no clue as to what God wants to do other than the simple fact we are going to gather together in a little over 34 minutes from now.
It isn't that I'm lazy in my preparations.
I'm not.
It isn't that I waste time.
I don't.
This just seems to be the soup du'jour when it comes to my messages.
I have actually stood to give one message I had prepared, only to have God say, "Nope...not what I want to hear."
I close the book and stand there while deep inside I'm going , "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God..."
Then the faintest thought of a verse will come and I will start with that.

Truth be known, I'm not a very good teacher.
I'm adequate and I stick to what God gives me.
In my mine ( or rather should I say "my flesh") I would like to be this incredible Bible scholar who unlocks the Holy Mysteries of God. But you know what, if that was me I would get myself in such trouble that God would look and say, "O.k. big boy...you dug the hole, now climb out."

On Saturday nights, we have been following a trail that God started back on December 26, 2009.
Seth Barber spoke and during his teaching, he referenced a phrase from the Big Book of AA.
Seth said, "Those who are willing to go to any lengths, here are the steps..." God spoke to me and said that we were to teach the Twelve Steps, one a month for the entire year of 2010. So far, He has kept His word as we have followed this pattern. Since this is August, we are on Step # 8.

Step # 8 reads:
We make a list of all persons we have harmed, and we become willing to make amends to them all.
Wow! That's pretty heady stuff. Sounds like Kingdom behavior. Something that Jesus would teach doesn't it. Making amends and restitution.
All of this coming as a result of our new relationship in Christ.
We no longer do business like the world or on the worlds terms.
We follow the guiding and leading of the Holy Spirit.
This Step # 8 helps me to prepare to rid myself of the burden of guilt, fear and shame.
Think of it as removing all the road blocks and obstacles that we have inside of ourselves that keep us from moving on and having the life we desire to live.
Each amends we make.......
Each restitution we complete, removes one of those obstacles until at last, we are free.

I don't know....
I may be kidding myself, but I think every church in America should have a copy of the Twelve Steps hanging somewhere in the building.
After all, it isn't really about drugs and alcohol..........
It's a sin problem that is manifested as we surrender to the drugs and alcohol.
God on you............
mb

P.s.
Just finished the Bible Study and God was very gracious to come into our group.
We prayed for 3 different men who had never been ministered to before.
They all went down (we call it "doing carpet time) under the Holy Spirit.
It is so wild to watch them when they get up...this really surprised look on their face like "What happened?"
You go God!
Give them ears to hear now as they begin their relationship with you.....