Heal Me....Or Kill Me...Do Something!

Step # 1
We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol/drugs----
That our lives had become unmanageable.

Job 6:2
If my sadness could be weighed and my troubles be put on the scales, they would he heavier than all the sands of the sea.

What thoughts rage in our minds and hearts as we approach this first step.
"I want to quit...."
"I can't quit....."
The very idea of not being able to quit is fueled by the toxic emotions of guilt and shame.
Guilt----for what I've done.
Shame----for who I have become.
These two combine to form a barrier that stands in the way of our recovery.
This barrier keeps the pain in.....
And hasn't it been pain that we've been running from?
Sure it has.
Our friend....our lover....the drugs and alcohol, promise us that they will remove the pain so that we don't feel it anymore.
These are the times when we are so confused and overwhelmed by the pain in our life that we wish we could die.
No matter what we do, we are powerless to change things.
Powerless to make them better.
The weight of the pain and the accompanying sadness seem to push down on us until it seems as though the very life we possess is being squeezed from our bodies.
We can't see why our hearts don't break and allow to death to free us.

Job felt that way...
Nothing left to live for....
The inability to change things in his own life...
"If my sadness could be weighed and my troubles be put on the scales, they would be heavier than all the sands of the sea....Oh that I might have my request, that God would grant me hope. I wish He would crush me. I wish He would reach out His hand and kill me...
I do not have the strength to endure. I do not have see anything in sight that encourages me to carry on.Do I have strength as hard as stone? Is my body made of bronze? No, I am utterly helpless without any chance of success (Job 6:2-3, 8-9, 11-13)

Job had no idea that the end of his life would a gazillion times better than when he made these statements. A divine restoration would come to Job. I know that today may seem like another in an endless time of darkness and hopelessness...but know that with the simple admission we find in Step #1, you are taking the first steps to moving out of the darkness into a new way of living.

"Rarely have we seen anyone fail who has thoroughly followed our path...."
What is a path? Nothing more than a worn out trail produced by others who have walked in the same direction. A path is easy to follow. A path is clearly seen. Such is this road to recovery. Millions have walked it before you. It is clearly marked and ready for you to take your place among those who are living clean and sober. Notice I said "living".....not existing. Sobriety and this relationship with Jesus is about living....real life.
Think on these things.....

God on you....
mb