Step # 1
We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Romans 718 - I know that nothing good lives in me....I want to do what is right, but I can't.
The awareness of our sin nature (some refer to it as the "flesh"...the old nature....the "old man") is the admission of our powerlessness when it come to our using or drinking. Even with this awareness, that old nature will still dictate how we should go about the business of getting ourselves (straight).
The old nature will whisper to us that we can deal with our problem. We don't need any help. We don't need others poking their noses in our business. In other words, the old sin/nature will seek to hide itself in secrecy, knowing all along that we will fail in such endeavors. But this way of thinking soothes our guilty / shame ridden conscious by convincing us that we are finally doing something right. Problem is..........we can't be the problem and the solution to our lives predicament . But we keep trying, only to be met with failure as we keep trying to follow the path of the easier softer way.
We promise ourselves that we will never use again, summoning up our greatest effort of will power, only to fail by using and/or drinking.
We tell ourselves that we are going to taper off a little at a time....But when pressed by family or friends as to how long this "tapering off" is going to take, we reply...a month or up to/ and including a year. Which means we aren't really tapering, we simply trying to regulate it.
We begin to substitute other substances for our drug of choice. Maybe convince ourselves that drinking is half as bad as using meth or shooting heroin. Some call this "Cross" addiction. Well, it's a cross all right...one that you nail yourself to so you can continue that slide to a slow death.
Bottom line in this recovery stuff....
You aren't going to change until you hit the bottom in your thoughts, in your heart, and in your life.
When you've run out of games to play...
When you have no one else to scam or manipulate....
Or as a friend of mine has so aptly stated...."When your sick and tired of being sick and tired..then you're ready to change".
I love how Paul the apostle described this process of finding a POWER greater than himself. A Power than was greater than his powerlessness.
Romans 7:24-25 - Oh, what a miserable (wretched in KJV) person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.
Coming to terms with our current state of life....
Seeing ourselves as we truly are.....
Admitting that I have an area of my life that I cannot control, and because I can't control it, it has taken over not only the area of my using, but has destroyed everything good and decent in my life.
I traded my family and friends for the high.
I traded all my possessions for the high.
I traded my freedom for the high.
I traded whatever future I may have had for the high.
But now through my admission of my powerlessness over my using, I am starting the search for THE POWER that is greater than my own.
Step # 1 is an anchor we cannot ever forget for it hold my entire recovery in place. In some ways, it is like the first piece of the armor of God we read about in Ephesians 6. Step # 1 is our "Belt of truth" that holds all the armor in place. Step # 1 is our belt of truth that holds all our recovery in place.
God on you...
mbb
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