Psalm 61:1-2
O God, listen to my cry! Hear my prayer! From the ends of the earth, I will cry to you for help. For my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety.
Opening up and turning loose of control -
Step # 3 -- We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
I think this is the most unusual and probably the most misunderstood of the the twelve steps.
Why misunderstood? Because we read the words to step # 3 and then translate it through our own will, deciding what we want to turn over and what we want to keep. In other words, I will be the judge as to what I am willing to surrender to God.
I call it selective will. I want sobriety....I want to be free from the pain and destruction that I have created....but I want to decide what falls under my will and what I really need to give up. Step #3 makes it very clear......we surrender or turn over to the care of God..................our will. All of it. Hard to do? Yes, especially if we had a controlling nature. But this is the place where we begin this new life we have been looking for.
In most cases, when it comes to addiction........the turning of will over to the care of God usually hits a snag when it comes to sex and relationships.
Whenever I teach on Step #3 and begin to talk about the phrase recovery at all costs, some people dig their heels in when it comes to their relationships. The problem is that people who are moving into recovery don't really know how to have a healthy relationship. Most times, it is the relationship with another individual that keeps us in the addiction spiral. You could say that people who refuse to give up unhealthy relationships want the best of both worlds. unfortunately these two do not mix or have the ability to coexist.......addictive relationships and God's will---not a good combo. Holding on to our will and yet proclaiming to be following Jesus is a good example of what we read about in II Timothy 3:5-----we exhibit a form of religion but by holding on to our will and not truly following God, we deny the power that is able to truly move us into a new dimension of living...that being a life of sobriety and freedom in Christ.
I decided to use the picture of the TV remote as an example of me wanting to control my own life. I want to what I am or am not going to watch. I can control the volume. I can control the DVR. I can program the TV to record, play a pay-per-view or change channels. I have the power.
In my life, if I keep the remote (my will) I will try to control everything. I really need to turn loose of the remote and let God have it. In Luke 9:23, Jesus tells a group that if anyone wishes to follow him......it easy.......put aside you own personal wants, desires and ambition...not to mention your will and the fact that it has been lying to you, getting you to follow into sinful behaviors and attitudes. Jesus says that this is the number one thing that has to take place in order to follow him.
Next, Jesus tells the group...."Hey! Everyone....after you deny yourself by turning over your will, then shoulder your own personal cross.....oh yeah! You've got to do this everyday. Then and only then can you follow me.
Cross! Yeah.....our own personal cross. You see the cross reminds me of the simple fact that in my choice to follow Jesus, my will is dead.......crucified.........gone. I do this every day. You see, there is not turning back to old life styles or ways of thinking when you shoulder that cross. There is no compromise with the cross....Jesus used this symbol, the cross, to remind us that the cross knows only one thing.......death! In this case, it is death to self and surrender of will in order to take up His will. Take it from someone who knows....Jesus' will wins every time. His way is so much better than my own. Think on these things!
God on you.....
mb
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