I was reading a passage from Melanie Green's book No Compromise and I was shaken by the shallowness of my commitment to God. I think the thing that stood out was how I thought I was truly in touch with God's call and direction. Then God spoke in a loving, soft voice and said, "It's time for you to grow up. You have been reveling in the "nursery" of God. This pricked my heart with such pain. The thought that I was somehow mature in Christ and walking out His call on my life was suddenly uncovered for what it truly was. Me...being a babe trying to act like an adult. God forgive me. Part of me wants to quit so as not to embarrass the name of Jesus. Another part of me wants to cry out, "Show me Lord! Show me how to grow. Show me how to love! Show me what I need to discard and what I need to embrace."
I am grateful for the opportunity to be in God's Kingdom.
Give me grace to follow you.
Help me to see that in the following is where I learn how to "BE" who You have created me to be.
An Excerpt From No Compromise by Melanie Green
“When my time comes–that’s the way I wanna go,” Keith said as he snapped his fingers. “Earth to heaven in an instant!”
Keith’s words went right by me at the time. There would be a day, though, when they would come back. For the moment, I busily tucked the blanket around Josiah as we headed out the front door for Richard’s memorial service.
One day, a short time later, Keith walked into our bedroom looking more serious than usual–and that was saying a lot. He was holding the book, Rees Howells: Intercessor, in his hand as he flopped on the bed.
“Did you know Rees Howells and his wife gave their infant son away so they could go to Africa as missionaries?”
“They gave him away…” I repeated, flatly. Already I didn’t like the sound of this.
“They gave him to relatives,” Keith continued, “and God told them they ‘could never claim him again’. Years later, after he graduated from college, he joined his father in the ministry in Africa. But he was already all grown up.”
“That’s really heavy.” Wasn’t there something else we could be talking about?
“Yeah. God told him to do it.”
“I sure hope it was God,” I said, and now I bit my lip, wondering what Keith was leading up to.
“Mel, what if God told us to give Josiah away?”
“I can’t see how that could ever be the Lord’s will,” I shot back at once. “I mean, do you really think he would ask us to do that?”
“I don’t know. He might. God can do anything he wants.”
“Well, I always want to obey the Lord, no matter what it costs. But that would be a hard one. Are you saying you would be willing?” I pressed him.
“It would be the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” he said, seriously. “But if I was one hundred percent positive it was God, I’d do it.”
By now, my heart was so heavy it could have burst. I was afraid Keith was going to do something crazy. What if he tells me he thinks God wants us to give Josiah to somebody else? I was thinking, What would I do? You don’t just give kids away, do you? My emotions were rocking.
Things had been so much easier when it was “just us and our stereo”. We’d always said we would give the Lord everything. But it seemed a lot easier to give God things like money, comfort, and time. How do you give your child? Rees Howells found out. So did Abraham, with his son Isaac. The enormity of their commitment was staggering to me.
Fortunately, it wasn’t a question we needed an immediate answer to. We weren’t going to put Josiah up for adoption or anything. Still, our parent-hearts were being painfully tested. And for the next few months Keith, in particular, was going through a deeper testing than I knew about until much later.
God on you...
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