Jeffrey posted this yesterday on his Facebook page. Recovery has given him an honesty to see himself and reflect on his journey to where he is today. Very grateful for his words, his life and his commitment to working the steps.
So you live day to day
And you dream about tomorrow
And the hours go by like minutes
And the shadows come to stay
So you take a little something
To make them go away
~Eagles / Wasted Time
(My FAVORITE Eagles song btw)
———-=———-
FAMILIAR SHADOWS
I look back at my past.
Hopeless feeling had a strong hold.
I tried to outrun the darkness.
Just to ramble right back into familiar shadows.
Running in the shadows seemed a refuge.
Every form of refuge has its price.
And addiction taxes heavy.
I actually hate this picture of me.
I had already started losing facial hair (notice my beard) as the result of the stresses of my heavy drug use.
Not long after this picture, I lost all my hair.
Eyes brows and eye lashes too.
On the other side of this picture,
is the saddest part to me.
On the other side of this picture, was my oldest son, as he told me not long ago, praying that his daddy would get out of jail in time for Christmas.
Yeah, I hate this picture.
But it tells my story.
I get it man, it’s so hard to change.
Once those shadows close in.
Those shadows are obnoxious and alien.
Those shadows are also subtle and familiar.
They reclaimed ownership of me.
Time after time.
The high escape from the lowdown.
Insanity wins again.
The way it was explained to me,
and I’ve used this example before:
Say you had a house with many problems.
Plumbing, electrical, leaking roof, paint pealing, and the house is also on fire.
What’s the first thing you should do in addressing each of these problems?
Put out the fire, right?
I ain’t the one to give advice.
But I do have a suggestion.
Put out the fire first.
Stop using the dope.
As addicts we have many problems.
Hence the plumbing, electrical, leaking roof, and paint pealing examples.
But the most pressing problem is we continue to put those chemicals in.
The house is on fire.
If we can successfully stop and put out the fire (cessation of drugs) our mind and body can start healing to the point that we can become mentally capable of dealing with all of our many other problems.
To the one currently in the shadows.
To the one that identifies with those
dead eyes of mine in that mugshot.
Stop putting in.
That is the first step.
If you need some help, reach out.
There are places that can help.
There are people that can help.
If you are in the surrounding Tuscaloosa area, message me, we have a meeting on the West Side tonight at 6:00.
We would love to have someone like you.
With all you know and how you speak.
We do recover.
You can “leave it alone.”
I remember what you told me
Before you went out on your own
Sometimes to keep it together
You gotta leave it alone
~Eagles / Wasted Time
One day at a time 
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